Merry Christmas, Look what I can do...and what the heck. woohoo

"what the heck"

I am realizing that as a mother of a almost 5 month old I don't really have the time to talk about whats going on in my life, but I will keep on trying.  I made a decision.  I am  going to start thinking about the idea of cooking through a cookbook.  I like the idea from the movie.  I would prefer to not do anything with screaming lobsters, or deboning animals, although I know I will have to do such things one day.  I am going to start out small.  For Christmas I received a years subscription to Southern Living (AWESOME).  My mom could not find an actual Southern living mag to gift to me, so she got a Paula Dean mag, and wrote it on the cover.  I love Paula.  She loves butter, we should get along okay.  So already I made stuffed zucchini...soooooooooo yummy.  Seriously easy, and even the hubby wanted to make some for the boys at the station.  Next I will be doing some red meats.  I am super excited.  However, tonight I made what I shall now refer to as leftover stew.  What is that you might ask.  Well my friend it is simply what its name says it is.  It is all of my leftovers put into a stew.  EWWWW.  No it is actually really good.  Seriously.  It has celery, corn, chili, jalapeno, cheese brats, cucumbers, and matchstick carrots.  Here's what i was thinking...whats the harm. It was all gonna end up getting thrown out anyway.  Who knows if my spouse unit will be as adventurous as I, but I really enjoy it.
Other than that I have been dealing with issues with my wonderful baby boy.  Which brings me to a question.  What the heck dude?  SO every time I have gone to the Doc with the little man its been something.  When I say something I mean first he needed glasses at the age of 2 months...yeah right.  Then for cosmetic reasons a helmet to shape his head.  Obviously not realizing that I come from a long line of huge heads.  I know you think I have a big forehead for those that know me, but I need to correct you.  Its not a bog forehead. Its actually that my head is so huge that God became overly exhausted when placing and counting my hairs on my head that he just gave up.  My sons head is perfect, leave him alone.  Then yesterday we had to take him and find out that he has an ear infection in both ears, and oh by the way "he might be allergic to your milk, so stop nursing, give him a bottle of this very expensive formula, and pump. RIGHT. Cause I have time for any of that.  BTW hes not allergic, we had his stool tested.  So what the heck dude?? However, last night I prayed he would sleep through the night...and he didnt, but it was better. Woohoo

best friends are possible

This is me at the age that I started wanting a best friend, and I am lucky to say this man is one of them. This is my dad.

When I was a little girl I remember that all I ever wanted...well something I really wanted, was a best friend.  I remember thinking that very thought when I was living in a little trailer park with my family.  It was a friend of our families that was gone, or renting it out or something.  Anyway it had to have been when I was in fourth grade.  By this time I had already had the sad misfortune of a cruel reality.  Its not gonna be that simple.  Its not like saying "mom I want a cookie".  No this was going to be something that could take FOREVER.  At that time forever was a week.  So I had this thought walking in the tailor park on the way to a friends house.  It was actually two friends.  They are twins.  I can't remember their names, but that their birthday is January 17.  They had long blond hair, and in general were not going to be my best friend based on their lack of the lord.  I knew it then, but even as a fourth grader I wanted to minister to them, and still to this day I think about if they ever found truth.  So then my parents got divorced.  Of course being ripped away from anything I knew wrecked any possibility of having any best friend potential at the age of ten.  I admit I was rather charming at that time in my life so starting a new school, although daunting, was not going to stop my quest.  I'm actually thinking the reason I could not make a best friend at this time had more to do with the fact that I was a ten year old with boobs, and I rode a unicycle to school.  Yes, you read right.  Its hanging in my garage right now.  Through the years I have had lots of friends.  Usually who became way to cool for my "bible banging" strange hair doin self.  Lets fast forward now to now.  I realized something.  I have them.  Not just one. My oldest friend is in a way like a sister.  I was blessed enough to get to stay at her house when my mom was going to be late, or not home.  Her family became my family.  We don't talk everyday, but she is the friend I know will be there at the hospital in the middle of the night praying with me.  She is always late...about everything, except for love.  She has one of the most genuine loves I have ever met.  Then I have a friend that I just saw yesterday.  I have known her since I was 18.  She has seen it all, heard it all, and walked through it all with me.  Thats right the good, the bad, the ugly.  Shes the friend that prayed me through some of the most rebellious times of my life.  She was the maid of honor in my wedding.  She is the friend that could ask me if I was being an idiot, and I knew that she would love me even if my answer was yes. She would always tell me she didn't agree, but that she loved me still.  We don't talk everyday, but there has never been a time that I thought too much time has gone by that I couldn't.  Then I have the friend that I do talk to everyday.  I don't know how we became friends really.  First off we are complete opposites.  She takes around 17 hours to get ready, I take 2.  She loves purses, I carry a badge.  She has NEVER seen the princess bride...need I say more?  She gets me.  She has done some things that I dont agree with, and vise versa, but we know that we are always gonna be friends.   I have a few new friends that I can see the possibility of being friends for a long time as well.  Then there is the obvious of my hubby.  He and I have been friends since freshman year in high school, and can rest in knowing we will be friends until I die.  Ive got my dad, who I have been blessed enough to get an awesome relationship with, my mom who I will always call upon, and Then there is the one I have been having more communication with as of late...God.  SO although it has taken 28 years for me to realize it, I have them.  I have my handful of true friends.  It is possible, and I am blessed.  However as a side note...I cant remember anyone's birthday quite as well as the twins of 4th grade.  Whats up with that?  In case you ever asked this question... A best friend is a friend that is simply that.  The best at being your friend.  Im lucky cause I have a lot that are awesome at it.  Thank you if you are listening.

Its just too easy

So I have known this guy for 12 years now.  We just happen to be married.  The other night we did something a bit out of the ordinary.  We stayed up and snuck out to go see the midnight showing of Tron.  BRILLIANT! Have no worries, we did not leave the children alone, but if you actually thought we did that even for a second you should just stop reading my blog.  No seriously.  Anyway, so we went.  We had been excited about this movie since we heard about the possibility of its arrival about 3 or so years ago.  Now, what I have yet to mention is that when I first met my darling husband I was just a kid.  He and I started out as good friends.  One of my love languages is gifts.  So when I was able to get a hold of a case for a Tron video tape for him to put his tape in it should have been an indicator.  However, at this time in out relationship neither of us really saw what was in front of us.  There are a lot of things that he and I enjoy, or appreciate, with somewhat of a passion.  Spider-man, Disney, music, I'll just stop. There's a lot actually.  Going to the movies has become a bit of a chore now a day.  When we were young we never went to the movies together really.  We never really even dated.  So for us to not just go to a movie, but pass on much needed sleep to go to a movie, its a pretty big deal.  He thinks we did it for him, but what he doesn't know is that it was so much to me.  It helped that we got to sit in "dbox" seats.  They are the seats that move with the motion of the movie.  We also saw it in 3D.  So in a way its like we were at Disney world again.  We were both excited, we both put in the effort to make it happen, and we both enjoyed it.  If you really want to know that was one pf my favorite dates.  He doesn't know it was a date...or maybe he does.  For me...well, it reminded me of that kid that had to make some great efforts to find a case for his tape.  It reminded me of the fact that even without the romance and expectations its just so easy.  I guess then again it is pretty easy when you love someone, as long as its with that someone.  It was a blast.  I may never catch up on sleep, but it was soooo worth it. 
 

I am working on it

Most people like to act like they have read the Bible all the way through.  Maybe you have.  I, however, admittedly never have.  I always wanted to mainly because I got so tired of not knowing what in the world my parents were talking about when I was in trouble, or they were tenderly trying to give me a life lesson.  Knowing my parents would never lie about anything like that I took it at face value and went about my day.  I will also admit I do know some of the key verses that may have made me sound super spiritual to a friend that was needing advise.  I guess the rest of my knowledge was just based out of life experience about how awesome God is.  In fact, as a side note, I could talk for a lifetime on how amazing our God is just based off of what He has done in my life alone. Not to mention how He came up with those awesome specks of blue I see in my children's eyes.  However, I would like to focus on the Bible for just this moment.  So I started reading through the Bible in two years in hopes that I will be finished by the time I am.... well lets just say in two years I am going to be hitting somewhat of a milestone. At this juncture I do not wish to address it.  Anyway, the goal was made on my birthday two months ago.  Needless to say the hither, tithers, and thous are still coming on strong in the old testament.  Most people say they don't like the old  testament.  I LOVE THE OLD TESTAMENT.  It is soooo cool. Plagues, miracles, hello creation.  Matter of fact just a couple of services ago our pastor asked if when we pray if we ever ask for God to make it extremely obvious with some huge sign.  You better believe I raised my hand.  Then the pastor said "one person, thank you"  Yup...just me.  I guess I just think why not?  We all walk around talking about our amazing God, but think its too much to ask for a burning bush?  So, yeah I do.  The most amazing part of the Old testament is Leviticus.  Yes, that's what I said.  Although I am horrible at spelling, that is NOT a typo.  I don't think its fun to read.  Its repetitious, and long winded in my opinion, but its still amazing.  I am a sinner.  I am a sinner even when I am not consciously sinning, we all are.  In Leviticus you learn what the process was for bringing an offering or sacrifice for your sins.  OH MY WORD.  Its this long arduous process of about five thousands steps.  The first step is you have to bring an animal, a specific kind depending on the offering and nothing could be wrong with it.  HA.  Good luck there.  If you don't know what I'm talking about you should read a little about it.  Its the third book in the Bible.  Just read a little and you'll get the gist.  Then you find out that even if the person does not know they have sinned, but they have done something that's considered a sin, they must bring an offering. How does that work?  You don't know you have sinned, but God does so your supposed to be able to somehow unknowingly find an animal that has nothing wrong with it and take it as an offering so you can be forgiven for a sin you were unaware you committed.   I have apologized for things I was not sure I was apologizing for in hopes to be forgiven, but can you imagine?  Dont  get me wrong.  I'm not a grace banger or anything, but I will admit its pretty nice when grace is given.  Whats amazing about all of this is that God sent HIS son.  (I'm not sending Camden to step in front of a car for a friend let alone to save all of humanity.)  HIS son.  He sent His son to be that sacrifice that we learn about in Leviticus.  He did this so we could ALL be saved.  All we have to do is accept this as a truth, and ask for forgiveness.  We don't have to go out and find some bull, or sheep, or bird that is perfect.  We don't have to guess if we have sinned and then plan accordingly.  God did all of it.  (like we needed one more excuse to be lazy)  That's why Leviticus is so amazing.  It reminds us of how amazing we have it.  Its like a constant mission trip.  It gives us the why to the how we are forgiven.  Wouldn't it be even more amazing if as humans we could do the same thing in a way.  I know at times I find it extremely hard, and then at times easy.  To some I can show grace and forgive so easily.  I admit that to others...especially the people that matter the most I am not so fast to forgive.  I am kinda like the book of Leviticus.  I expect offerings of perfection, rituals of proof, and even still after that I have a hard time.  This isn't to say I cant forgive without these things.  I think we are all like that.  For some we expect cartwheels and leaps through hoops, but others we can forgive sometimes without a huge fuss.  I have lost many of the people I care about to this.  They cant forgive without me jumping through hoops, or visa verse.  What makes me think that I am better than God?  In that moment I must think that.  That He can forgive, yet I cant?  No....that's wrong.  I have been, and am going to continue to try to work on that.  Forgiveness.  I don't want to be like the book of Leviticus.  God already made the sacrifice through His son.  If someone has already asked for forgiveness I don't want to make them feel unforgivable.  Then isn't that me sinning again?  So then imagine if in response God did the same to me.  I'm working on it.  I'm not God so I'm gonna fail, but I'm working on it.  Leviticus has shown me what I don't want to be. Now without offerings of perfection, without being able to know everything I have done wrong, and without any rights I am openly asking for forgiveness for not doing what the creator does everyday.  I am working on it.