The Truth

Have you ever gone to write a blog post and after writing most of it decide to erase it cause its just not time to let the world in on your stuff?  Thats what just happened to me.  You see...well there is a lot...
a lot happens in my life on a regular biases.  I keep hearing my dads voice echoing"God must think your a tough cookie"  You know what...I think Dads right.  I may never re write what I had written about the past couple of weeks.  It doesn't really matter.  The truth is that for now this is what God has for me, and he may not have given it, but he does know how to make beauty from ashes, strength for fear, gladness for morning, peace for despair.  I can say that because I have faced all of those things this couple of weeks, and God has delivered!  So for now I am just gonna praise.  I am praising for the people who do know what has been going on and standing firm in Gods sovereign and mighty truth.  I am thankful for the people that are loving my family.  I am thankful that I can say "yes God. I trust you."  I am thankful for the day when I can see Him face to face wrap my arms around His neck and say"thank you daddy".

Fires in Texas, and pride

Did you know that my husband is a firefighter?  its true.  He was top of his class.  In a fire hes the one I would want to come save me.  He is brave, caring, and totally HOT...not just when hes walking through fire.  Anyway, Texas has been on fire.  He has had to fight a few.  The guys have not had much of a break.  I am super proud of all of San Antonio fire men.  However we also recently remembered 9/11.  I remember where I was.  He remembers where he was.  We all do.  The night before we remembered that day ten years ago I hung flags outside my house.  Not only to honor those that have served, but also those who have lost and are serving.  Mike...the hot fire fighter guy I was just talking about...well he cant walk away from serving I guess.  He will always be a servant..because He loves God.  One day he may walk away from the danger and serve in other ways.  I found myself with mixed emotions as I hung three flags that night.  I hung the flag of this nation that I love. This nation that I believe in, and call my home.  Then I hung the flag to the unit Mike was in when he fought for our right to call this nation home for one year.  It might have at one point been considered the longest year of my life.  Imagine what it was like for him.  Mike served 10 years in the military.  I can honestly say I was there through all of it...well aside from one year.  The unit flag was the 82nd airborne unit.  The only unit left that actually jumps into combat zones.  The second was the flag of the fire fighter.  I am so proud of this man.  Can you imagine what he has seen?

He walks, and brings joy. Thank you for knowing best God

Our sweet boy...and do I mean sweet...has started full time walking...well mostly.  Yall dont understand.  This boy has stolen my heart. That is what is left after God, Mike, and Tatum. He is so different from Tatum.  Other than the obvious...
Side story...One day I was watching my besties kids, whom at times I wish were in my family, and see them as family.  Anyway one of hers is still in diapers and as I went to change her in automatic mode I went to wipe and totally freaked out.  For a brief moment I forgot I was changing sweet Olive( who again is a girl) and though my poor Camden Mr had fallen off. Im not kidding. Side story over.

Anyway so Cam the man has the best laugh ever.  When you get him really good he kinda holds his breath and laughs at the same time, and he wont move his eyes.  Its like hes compleatly stunned by how tickling feels and is unsure as to what is supposed to happen.  Recently he decided riding the vacume cleaner is the best option towards fun, and assisting mommy in her daily work.  In away it does... We are trying to upload it to u tube.

He turned one by the way.  Something that I may have not mentioned was that we were able to get my dad on skype.  My dad is like the modern day Abraham. He is such a godly man.  Anyway my dad, some of our family, and some friends prayed a dedication over my Camden Isaac.  I am so proud of that moment.  I am so proud of God already working in Camdens life.  Through Camden.  Two years ago today September 17th one of Mike and my children went to be with Jesus in heaven. Through tears I remember them.  I remember how much I loved them.  I remember I will meet them one day.  Then I remember that as sad as that loss is that had I had them I would not have Camden.  He was conceived 8 weeks later.  I love my little boy.  I could not imagine not having him, and I praise God that he knows.  Today I am just a little sad.  That year was filled with so much loss.  So many painful things happened, and the child had been prayed for for so long. I think they loved me too, and I know that there is a strong possibility that had they not been there I might have given up.  I know Camden is going to do amazing things.  Aside from making this sad little momma laugh like crazy on this day that I remember something so sad.

what a hot walk

On Tatum's first day of school we walked to and from school.  So in fact when we do it that way Mike and I are getting two Miles of walking in.  Anyway, We got a pic when we got home of said event. Here its is....

New times in Life

This is almost one week post Tatum entering into the public school system.  Her second day she got into trouble, but other than that we had nothing but good reports.  I still wonder if we are doing whats best, but in my attempt to submit to my husband I will leave it at that, and pray.  School also started again for Mike and I.  On top of that Mike started a new way of life when it comes to his eating. My mom has some issues with her eyes, and until Friday the Doctors were sure she had a tumor. Now they may be looking into M.S.   We are visiting new churches starting this week, and not sure what all of that means. In trying to wrap my head around all of this I have completely lost my brain.  This morning I pulled a bowl out of the cabinet and once almost filled realized I was pouring my coffee into a bowl...I guess it could work. 

A big day

About two weeks ago I was covered in this feeling that I needed to look into Home school.  The two weeks to follow were some of the hardest, most lonely, most emotional weeks I have had in a long time.  After it causing a lot of turmoil  and emotion Mike has decided that we will be sending Tatum to Public school.  I am learning about this submission thing.  I have a lot to learn, and a lot to work on, but I am doing the best I can.  I am praying that either God put a burden on Mikes heart for home school or that He takes this feeling off my heart.  At any rate tomorrow is a big day.  Tatum was born almost 6 years ago.  I have been taking care of everything from the beginning until now...I am praying that God has his hand over her teacher Ms. Lopez.  Even if she is like 5, did just graduate in December and was just hired on Thursday (today is Sunday).  Tatum will be wearing an outfit that she picked out.  It is an owl shirt, skinny jeans and brown flats.  She also wants to take her stripped cardigan in case of a chill.  She is more than excited.

oh tatum...

Tatum:Mommy?
Me:Yes love?
Tatum:Whats P.A.I.D I really mean it I really mean it spell??
ME:Where do you see that baby?
Tatum:On the calender.
Me...oh...(smiling and giggling)...that says paid...exclamation point exclamation point.  Thats just the day daddy gets paid from work...
PAID!!

Different time

T:Mommy?
M:tatum?
T:if I home school will there be a playground involved?
M:well love we will have to make time to go to the playground, so yes...
T:then I feel okay about that.